I'm in love but it's all wrong it's a want, not need. bat your eyes like you always do and I'll forget all the exhaustion all the pain all the waiting 'cause with you doll I feel alright and alright is good for now. I'm head over heals a fool for you there is no blame for the frustration I facilitated and I cant forget feeling alright 'cause alright is good for now. fuckkkkkkk. the exhaustion is just as addition to the stress. so tired. so insecure. I feel so ugly and horrible and .. and there's no reason why. Sometimes the anxiety eats me and I shut down. but I'm nothing without it. I am so incomplete with out the stress and anxiety and exhaustion. It's become a part of me.. if not all of me. and I am happy.. as happy as they get... when I'm with people. Not people I care about... the others... it's so much easier to pretend when they don't know you. I feel so dirty yet I do not care. 8.. a number.. what does it mean. 8 fucking people?. honestly, who gives a fuck. what the fuck to numbers mean. nothing. not 8 guys, and not 5 years. I need help. self help. I'm so tired of school, but I'm scared of not being home. I need to leave so bad, I've been ready for years, but what if I don't turn out EXACTLY how I plan to, how I want to, how I NEED to. then what?. more anxiety and exhaustion?. does it end?. vampire for halloween. So I can bite people. will whipple I am fascinated and in love with you.