I got a call. It was wonderful. But the feelings have gained strength. I only want to see her. It seems to be the only thing I think of. Strive for. Want. Reminders drift around, come and go but always they make me think of times with her. Always they stab my heart. And always I fall away from the world. I dont exist in my mind. Every minute without her is a minute wasted in my mind. I feel like it is too early for these feelings to come. Too early to even think I am in love. but I cannot change what has happend. And I cannot change how I feel. Maybe its a dream. Maybe all this is just a lie and in the end will have all been for not. But I cannot even imagine it another way. Tonight my prayers are for her PS I changed "Abondond" to a not private entry.... I always look at that. Maybe someone else would want to see it.