I wrote this the other day... you know sometimes I can get so awnry and selfish. I am lame. *sigh* I feel depressed. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I woke up sick. Then my parents yelling at me. I didn’t go to school. I went on a six hour car ride with my aunt. Probably the highlight of my day was my aunt letting me and teaching me to drive her stick shift. I really appriciate that. But other than that my entire day basically sucked. Its as if no one even knows today is my birthday even though it is. Some people are nice and tell me happy birthday. And its nice. But I don’t want to hear it. Its even worse when my parents are like “oh yeah. Happy birthday. We wake you up at six in the moring shove a thermometer in your mouth yell at you a bit. And oh yeah. Hey its your freakin birthday. I hope you have a fantastic day driving to Idaho so you can help your grandma with her packing.” you know I don’t even mind helping my grandma on my birthday. Its nice. But what frustrates me is when I get yelled at in the morning for being sick. Its as if I don’t even matter. I am crying right now. I got called by two of my friends today. In a way I am glad that they didn’t know that it was my birthday today. But in another sense it makes me depressed. That they could talk to me even tell me about how bad their day is. I wish my birthday could have been any other day of the year. Not today. Please not today. Today is the worst day for me to turn eighteen and have a happy day. Having a bad day is bad enough. But having a bad day on a day that is supposed to be special and happy is the worst. I hate it. I want to die. I want to be gone. Just let it end. Please. I just got in another freakin argument with my freaken parents. I wish she was here. I just want to hold her and be held by her. I hate this. I hate crying in someone elses room. I just want to go for a walk. I just want to die.