Why has home become such a hell for me. Is it the consant reminder of the sinner that I have become? Could it be the drama? or the constant nagging of my mother? the constant fighting of my brother. Arizona has become such a paridise for me, a place where I can escape everything I have become part of. Escape from every mark that anyone has put on me. Arizona seems to be my second sanctuary. I wonder if Barbara would stay there with me. Or anywhere besides my home. She is my first sanctuary. With her I am free from pain and turmoil that everyone else seems to lash upon me like a harsh whip tearing my skin off my back. They dont know they do this, but they do. I want my Love, I want my hope, and I want my dream. Give me this or send me to my abyss.