For some time I had lost sight of my will to live. A gun in the mouth would have made me the most happy. But I have reason, will, to live. Love. Its so far away, so distant from where I sit at this moment, but death will only bring pain to her. So I must go on, if not for my sake but for her sake. I must live so I can see her again, so she can see me again. So we can be happy again. Dreams. Hopes. Fantasys. What would it be like to see her again? Pure bliss. Happieness. No more tears of sadness. Just smiles. I dont know. Maybe I am just crazy, but for the sake of living. I will keep on dreaming.