Saturday 30th January 2009 Time: 02:33 a.m. Why don't you stop trying to control everything and just let go!? I find my mind working at a mile a minute, thoughts are racing and I can't do anything to slow them down. There is so much to do... way too much to do... so many people to see, too many promises to remember. Where is my mind? Please, if you find it, do let me know. Why am I finding myself, once again, drifting towards that overall apathetic attitute concerning everything? I cannot be fucked to care. Again. Why should I when everybody else around me makes no effort? Hmmm, no. I think I'll start making waay more time for the people who make an effort to see me. Like Puppy! Puppy has asked to meet up three times this week, and yeah, fair enough, we had to cancel everytime, but I saw Puppy last sunday, and Puppy is really trying hard. Now, Turtle and Dove are a completely different story! Neither of them ever bothers, and I don't care anymore. You win some, you lose a lot, it's life. I think it's FightClub, everytime I watch that film, things are just clearer. Carpe Diem. I WANT to live by that, not just say it and try to act cool, Oh yeah, look at me, Seize the day - how indie, everyone's doing it. No, I want to embrace it, absorb it, love it, learn it, live it. And I plan on no longer wasting my time on people who have no time. I will read more books, there is much to learn. Many things I wish I knew. And no How To Defossilise Your Hamster is not one of them, Bug. Haa. I will stop forcing myself to sleep. If I don't want to sleep, I will not sleep. I will do something constructive. Build a puzzle and not eat the pieces, write a song, paint a picture, make a rag doll - whatever. The world is my fucking oyster. I should start posting some of my lyrics on this. When I can be bothered. [: Sooo, not now. Hmmm, I reckon I should get a punching bag. But that's a whole different can of worms. Let's not. Time: 02:54 a.m. Oh gosh, that camping trip in the summer will be absolutely fucking awesome. Birdie isn't too sure if Birdie's up for it, lol, I've been talking to Birdie A LOT lately, you know the people you can't help but spill your guts out to? I have three of those in my life. But yes, as much as I love Birdie to pieces, Birdie iiiiiiis slightly "Oooh, handbag!", lol and I don't think Birdie would enjoy being deprived from modern technology as much as everyone else... But I hope Birdie decides to come, I just know it'd be about 1000000 times better if Birdie did, Birdie doesn't even need to organise anything, me and Llama are doing that... Uhmmm... Llama does have insane detail-oriented organisation skills. Mad skillz really. Woah, Llama's all grown up. Eighteen yesterday!! Woah muchly. But yes, once again focusing on el trip. At the beach... hm... I sort of promised Goldfish would NOT get eaten by a bear... If Goldfish does, I wouldn't be able to help but giggle, slightly, at the irony... Then I'd cry, 'cause... well, one of my best friends had just been eaten by a bear... o_O Anyway, fuckityfuckyfuck. I have work tomorrow and should really be asleep, and I am much too tired, and my eyes sting a little from crying. 7 hours. 12 hours. What a blast. Hmmm. Not. ALL WE NEED IS SOME ICE CREAM AND A HUUUUUG! Been nice rambling to ya. NightyNight xx Dakky Has Left The Building. Time: 03:11 a.m.