I think there's a strong possibility that George W. Bush may...may...MAY go down in history as the worst president we've ever had. Like, really bad, dangerously bad. I don't mean in like, a Millard Filmore, James Polk kinda way. First off, lets admit that the war on terrorism is a fuckin' joke. You can't have a war on terrorism, it's like having a war on jealousy. At no point in time are we ever gonna go "Whew! Got 'em all! Everybody loves us again!" We're doing the opposite, cause everybody hates us again. The thing that's stupid is everybody's like, "He was out there, and he bombed that country..." and who the hell wouldn't have bombed a country? Hell, Nader would have bombed a country. He's only doing the job we sort of, not really, actually, didn't elect him to do. That's not really a cause for celebration. I mean, I don't jizz all over the place when the guy at McDonalds gets my order right. What did we think he was gonna do? Hole up in a Motel 6 with a bottle of Jack going "I don't wanna be president, I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!" We're acting like he came in third place in the special olympics. "Hey, good job! You're doin' a great job there buddy...look at you. Come on, you did good, you did good!" He's the same fuckin' moron that he was on the 10th, it's not like on September 11th he ran around the White House taking genius pills. I mean, whats our humanitarian effort in Afghanistan? We dropped pudding cups on the most heavily mined country on the planet. And ironically, the food packets look exactly like the bombs we drop that sometimes don't go off. "Hey, go out and get that food." "But, some of those are mines!" "Well...lets just send stumpy. Stumpy, go out there." And the worst thing about the guy is that he's a liar, and not in the usual politician way in the way that every politician who walks the earth is a liar. It's the lie that he cares about you. The b.s. about "I'm just like you! I'm just a good ol' boy from Midland, Texas. Cause I'm sure all of you had the background as I had where your dad was head of the C.I.A. and then Ambassador to China, then V.P. for eight years and then president for four years. I mean, I would like to travel abroad, I would, but I can't, because people hate us, because Bush's international plan apparently didn't go any further then doing Jell-O shots at Shooters in Cabo San Lucas in Mexico. Anyway, thats my rant for the day, I'm outta here. REPORTER: What exactly is the Star Wars defense system? POLITICIAN: Well...since you really wanna know, basically it's a net...held up by pixies...in outerspace. --DAVID CROSS