So I'm sitting here at 1:30 in the morning, when I should be in bed, thinking about stuff that I would normally block out of my head during the day. Recently, a lot of people who I know and care about have either gotten sick or have known people who have died and it kind of screwed them up for a while, and it got me thinking. Not about death, or the afterlife, or anything like that. I'm a borderline Agnostic/Atheist, so I kinda made up my mind on that one a long time ago. What I was thinking about was that we're not guaranteed a whole lot of time on this planet, so while we're here, we have to accomplish two things: we have to be one of those people that screams and rants and makes noise so they can have their voice heard, because once you're gone, you're gone for good. That's the first thing. The second thing is that for the past few years, I have had a tendency to lie about a lot of petty bullshit stuff that I really didn't need to. It turns out that some of that stuff though proved to be stuff that made people happier. So really, it was a lie that made people happier than the truth ever could have, so I'm wondering which road I take with this. In the first option, I come clean with a lot of stuff...nothing that would be harmful to anyone's health or ruin any relationships I have with people, but just stupid shit that I should have just been honest with in the first place. For example: I do stand-up now about twice a month. It's not a lot, but its a stress reliever if nothing else. The first time I did it though, I did it because I was trying to talk to this one girl, so I told her that I was going to do stand-up somewhere and I needed to try out my material on someone, and that was how I got to hang out with her. I made up a few jokes that I still use to this day, but basically, it was a lie. Now, do I just kinda let stuff like this go, or do I tell the people? Cause its stupid, petty shit like this thats been getting to me since I had kind of a "we're not really here forever" moment the other day. Anyway, I'm done ranting for the night, so I will say goodnight.