Keep in mind, I'm not saying word for word the speech from the movie "Bull Durham", but the general idea is lifted from a speech in the movie, so here goes: I believe that people who leave baseball games in the sixth inning if a team is down by less than four runs should be banned from games for the rest of the season. I believe that girls in relationships that don't bring their boyfriends to parties should either wear a sign that says that they're not single or just avoid coming altogether. I believe that marijuana should be legalized, and see no reason that it's still illegal. I believe that without a doubt in my mind, that George W. Bush is by far, in terms of policy, not private life, one of, if not THE worst people to ever hold the office. I believe that the minimum wage system is fucked up: if you have a job that requires physical labor and actually performs a service, you should make more money than someone who sits in an office running a company all day, since they don't really have a whole lot of power anyway. I believe that the Woodward Dream Cruise is a waste of time, energy, and gasoline that could be going into something important like my car. I believe that people who are half-ass fans of any team should not be able to buy any of those annoying flags that people put on their windows when the team is doing good. I believe that people who only buy a CD from a band because they heard their single on MTV or MTV2 should get last dibs on any and all of their concert tickets, so they stop taking them from the actual fans. I believe that people should be able to be religious, but not force their ideas onto me. I believe that people who say words like "guesstimate" and use air-quotes need to be hit with a blunt object...repeatedly. I believe that they should change the names of huge SUVs to reflect why people are buying them and call them things like "The Compensator". I believe if you have to tell me what fraction of you is Native American then you're not Native American. I believe that repirations for people who had ancestors as slaves is kind of a fucked up idea, especially since this country has millions upon millions of people whose family was still in the old country, or hadn't been kicked out of their old country until after the Civil War (like my family). I believe that if you where a shirt that says "bitch" on it, you have no right to get offended when someone calls you that when you do something stupid. And finally, I believe that you don't need to teach both sides of a debate when one side is full of crap (evolution vs. creationism). People in this country are smart enough, but they seem offended when you imply that you come from shit-flinging chimps at some point down the line, or the idea that now the closest animal to the human is the domestic dog. Also, I believe that if you call something "intelligent design", then you can't base it on the fact that the earth was started by a God who put Adam and Eve: two naked teenagers, in charge of Earth. That's REAL intelligent design. There's not even a real debate here: evolution is agreed upon, across the board mind you, by almost all scientists. Creationism is agreed on by guys who are waiting in line to see the Dukes of Hazzard movie. Saying that you came from God is as ignorant is worshiping something like the U.S. Mail. It came again! Praise Jesus! Thank you, and good night.