Well, I decided that instead of bitching about the streak I'm on (0-36 rejections as of tonight), and do stand-up about it...which is basically me bitching, but I could get money for bitching on stage with a microphone. Anyway, I haven't done stand-up in a while, so I started working on some new stuff, which is basically what this entry is gonna be since I can't think of anything else to right. Ever notice how the longer you're single the farther down your expectations drop? I mean, when you're first single it's like, "I would never go out with her, she's too tall." About four months later that turns into "Well...on the bright side I guess that moustache makes her look kind of dignified." It's weird though when you're single, all you see are couples wherever you look. It's better then the alternative though, because when you're part of a couple all you see are hookers. Believe it or not there are differences between the girls I've gone after and someone like Charles Manson. I mean, at least Charles Manson has the decency to let you know he's crazy when you MEET HIM! Women, why do you even bother saying "We can still be friends" to a guy? What guy in the history of the world has ever actually said "You...you mean it? We CAN? Oh my god, thank GOD! I mean, I was worried I wouldnt get to hear about all the guys you go out with. *Whew!*" Your attitude changes when you've been single for too long though. Like, when youre single at first, and you see two kind of ugly people together, you think "Aww, see? There's somebody for everybody." But after a while it's kinda like "Ugh, great. Just what the world needs, Jethro over there to breed." HOMER: Ned, I need you to take the kids. I'm going to rehab. NED: Ah, I see you're finally gonna fight your demons. HOMER: Actually, my demons and I have never been closer.