im avoiding all that i know im my heart and head right now. gah. i love him but he hurt me in such a way that i fear what if i could never really forgive fully. im just trying to remember the love that still holds onto me we're not together anymore and im trying to distance myself alittle to soak it in and evaluate what i really want. we hang out so much still it almost seems like nothing happened cept for the comments and talks about it all. i went out with my friends and they know .. we went to the mall and they wanted to see what she looked like. i was afraid of going and seeing that she might be at work. i took them anyway and thank you she wasn't there. i don't know if i would just start saying things or looking at her or what. but im glad i wasn't put into that situation. we made a few jokes i laughed it off and tried to forget. he go this wisdom teeth pulled today. he's alseep and im at his house making sure he's okay. if we get back together i just want to make sure im okay as okay as i can be. i don't want to become this untrusting stalker person that stresses over everylittle thing. ghahh. no more talk about it. i can't wait for the summer