Mmm 4 30 am. what a wonderful hour it shall be. i still havent found sleep and i still have nothing worth the time it will take to read this wonderfulness i call this entry. nevertheless... someone i hope will read ha. im tired of nothing. i still feel like this time im spending isn't mine and i feel bad for spending it at all. i think im gonna go running around 5 or 6. maybe a good run will tire me out into some sense of sleep. i dont have plans for today. i wish i did. i wish i could go to the beach like i want. and i know if i want to i should just go an do it but im a bit .. whatever... frank came over and we watched finding neverland. he bought me a mountain dew. such a nice boy, we've shared our lives for almost 3 years. we spent half that time in a lie, one half very much in love and the last half finding it again. right now i's say he's found it and im still searching for it in him... but i must say i can still see it in his eyes. ******************** what does it take to keep your eyes to keep a blanket that never lets wanting escape to see a light of day and the darkest of nights what keeps you still sitting there waiting for sunshine how can the inevitable be so blind to you and a smile that you faithfully keep i don't seem to mind it can make the most of falling rain tomorrow will come and go and there you will be in that same state of mind looking for paradise how noble you seem walking that long road for everyone to see its those dreams i long to find for myself and become fearless inside such inpiration to now find