i didnt sleep last until this morning, only to wake up at 9:30, restless once again. I knew i had nothing to do today so i wanted to sleep in. But it was impossible. I wasnt tired, or hungry but i had a massive headache and my mouth was very dry. No matter how much i drank, i couldnt get enough hydration. Anyways, i roamed about my empty house wishing i had someone to join me in my boredom. Britta came over for awhile and we talked and did homework, wich was nice. But she had to leave to have supper with her family, and i was once again left alone. I didnt want to say i was lonely, or bored, or despondent, or fed up, and restless but i was. And i hated every minute of it. But i will have to grow accustomed to silence, along with the voice inside my head. In only a couple of weeks i'll be on my own, i dont know how im going to manage that considering my paycheck was only 110, thats just enough for my car insurance. I still have rent,cell phone,gas money, food money. I dunno...lets see, i can stop talking and eating and driving will be reduced once im in town and i wont have to roadie all the time either. so in that aspect, everything will be ok. tell me, am i dumb for knowing someone is just my drug buddie, but not doing anything about it? hardly caring for that matter. Thats all i see in them i guess. I know i dont value my relationships as much as i should, but i have yet to find a friendship of true value. and with age, i hear, it just gets much worse. So i dont see the point in pouring emotions,feelings, and life into a friendship that you know will never go beyond the surface. Besides, what these people see now is not me, and I do not see them.