well its been a while, and i have a lot to say...i was in a car accident on thursday. I always wondered what it would be like to look one way at an intersection and then BAM. well now i know what its like, im a little dissapointed (that im still alive) but i keep telling myself that things will work out... the police man found an old tin of m.j and some nutmeg from a looong time ago. I told my parents some things. I said "i have problems...a drug problem to be exact." my dads response was beyond ridiculous,and i was dissapointed on how i wasnt dissapointed at at all... he said that my problems would be solved if i had a relationship with god. So not only did i have to tell him that 1.i think im bipolar 2.i have a drug problelm 3. i dont believe in god and then,as us heathens would say: the shit hit the fan. The guy i hit is in the hopital, and im fine. My right foot is fractured, and i have no car. Im trying to stay clean, but its hard. very hard. its hard to drive, its hard to sit, its hard to be alone-its hard to be with people. Everything just seems very difficult right now, my chest hurts and my breath is hard to catch. Im afraid. there-i said it. I am terribly terribly afraid that this feeling wont ever go away...