k so this is the 1st time ive felt like writing in this diary for awhile. i dont know but i just havent been up to it.. taylor's birthday was good. actually his mom was mean to him & grounded him but i did what i could to make it really special. the next night we all (my mom, sister, ryan, & chasen) went to sushi, and my mom surprised him and they brought out a icecreamish birthday dish thing and we all sung him happy birthday, and to me that made me feel as though hopefully his bday turned out not-so-bad afterall. this week went by quick, especially because there were only 3 days. i have been hanging out with michael alot lately. he is super fun. on thursday i think we went to ventura high school (i looove getting out at 1:25)and i saw lots of people & friends etc. i wish i could go there. but idk. maybe next year. last night i hung out w/ my brother and taylor and taylor was being super duper duper duper nice. oh my he makes me very happy.today im hoping to do something really fun. i love doing fun things lol its the best. spontaneous fun crazy things. im excited! all this week ive also been wanting to go downtown, go to sushi, then walk on the beach at night. that sounds soooo fun. im excited for valentine's day too. :) ewwww i really dont like my mom right now. shes really really mean lately. shes obsessed with the house being clean and if its not clean enough she starts FREAKING out and calling me names. i swear shes the most bipolar bitch ive ever met. sometimes i feel like i get my pshyco-ness from her! also im scared. i might have mono. chasen has it. and has been sick for about 3 months. so throughout all those months i could have easily cought it. :( i hope i dont. the ONLY good thing i could see out of getting that is that u lose weight, lol. but other than that omgosh chasen isnt going to school for 4 weeks, hes on vicodin, and all this other stuff. so im going to take better care of myself. this morning i tried to sleep a long time and i sipped green tea while watching some stupid show on ABC. then i turned it to vh1. which was also stupid. then my stupid stupid mom told me that we are going away next february on the 3 day weekend. GREAT. i hate going (HAAAATTTEEE) on family trips. like you dont even know. i hate being with my family! except for ryan. hes wonderful. but ewww last time i went on a family trip michael pulled over on the side of the road and punched my face. goshhh AND NOT TO MENTION IM REALLY GOING TO MISS TAYLOR. but ill live. i always do. god but seriously my mom is so awful. i know i should be thankful i even have a mom, but seriously she is really ridiculous. she doesnt even know how to stand up for herself! she blows up over the littlest things! and odisyfas;dfhas;dfha a million other things. i also really want to talk to someone. like a therapist or something. want to. need to. im done