i had the most bizarre dream last night. taylor was in it. and we like had sex in it, (i dont know why at all) then after i was like "you and shaylah dont have anything right?" and he was like "well..." and i got terrified and immediately regretted doing it, like intensely. but then i remembered while i was still dreaming that this was a dream. everything was ok. i love that about dreams. it enables to erase things and mistakes you made. that would never, ever happen in real life though. gosh the dream was so weird. ive sort of been thinking about him a lot though. i dont like it..i heard once in order to get completely over someone you cant talk to them for 6 months. i dont like him "like that" at all (!!) anymore. i just worry about him.. the shit hes getting into. its narly and it is shit. its bullshit too!! he used to be so amazing. we used to fit together perfectly. a perfect match. except not. a deranged psychaotic match. thats what it turned into. and i keep thinking about how i fucked this one guy over in october.. he was such a nice guy too! but it just didnt feel right you know. im such a shitty person some times.. really. but i usually have good intentions.. this trip has provided me with way too much thinking time. 4 more days left !!! i cant wait. david called me last night and he was like "dont ever leave me for this long again" like i had a choice haha. he makes my stomach weak.