yesturday was valentine's day. usually things like valentine's day .. i dont give a fuck about. but. yesturday because i dont know why it wasnt that easy. i went to david's work and visited him at lunch and i dropped off a box of those candy hearts with the words on them. he was smiling the whole time. but. i havent heard from him.. i wish he wasnt so shy.. and he is very shy. i wish he knew that the way i feel is genuine. and i wish i wasnt so insecure. i really am. and i hope that all i am being is insecure, and that he still does have feelings for me... because i sort of have a feeling that maybe he doesnt like me anymore. ive layed it all out there. so many drunken nights with him, out on the balcony of ryan's apartment with his arms wrapped around me keeping me steady.. hes got to know. so what is it thats holding him back? did i fuck up this one also?? and i dont feel well. my bodys aching. i hope i dont have mono. why do i always think i have mono? seriously every time i get sick im like.. alright, this is it, this time im getting it for sure... last night for valentine's sarah and i and yesenia went to joe's crab shack for our "romantic dinner".. it was fun. we didnt go to yoga.. blahh i just wish i knew