i am emo right now. I am never going to have anyone like me. i am going to be sad and lonely the rest o my life and i ahte that alot. and that just plain fucking sucks. This year has just fucking sucked. It has sucked so hard. i mean look back on my journal entrys and like yeah. its blatent that i suck at life. I just suck at it. Nothing really has gone good this year. I mean there was that one thing and then now i lost a best friend for really dumb reasons that i cant even compute in my head. band just fucked my life over and then this fucking job i have makes me like hate myself. I hate my life. I feel so alone. and i feel like i only have like one friend or maybe 4 but i feel like an outsider even in my circle of friends. and thats gay and stupid. I would give nething to not go bcak to the way i was earlier this year. my god i fucked up my life alot. GROWL.... Fucking Life Sucks i hate it i hate it i ahte it. i just wanna be considered beautiful and not just a fucking hook up. i know i sucked at relationships before. thats obvious but honestly that was a long time ago. and im pretty sure ive matured in taht time. Its like so stupid. im not ugly. i dont think. i hate myself. My GOD