dear diary, somehow when things are starting to float i dont want them to. when things at home are starting to finally seem simple and happy i suddenly want them to stay how they were. im not afraid of having a normal happylife again i guess. i just dont think its fair that after all that hes put us through my dad feels that he can come and fix everything and be the hero after he was the villain for so many years. i mean i find it hard to believe... anyways i guess its better to give it a shot. i just cant stand it when he gets home and starts yelling at me because i left the ac on all day long or because i cant go out that night. i feel like hes got no more parental power over me i mean what does he expect after 3 years of living fuckin high he decides to actually care?? and then hes got my mom so fuckin hypnotized like shes so excited because hes back and she gives him all the reason.. i know it will b better for me to just accept him again and have a life ..i mean it would be easier...and i try sometimes but when the lights go out or we run out of hot water i remember how we got to b like this and i suddenly want him to move out again..oh well..good night..