ok well today offcially sucked...my boyfriend is being a ahh idk whats wrong like someone sent him an email with a

Fake

conversation of me and some guy saying we should like hook up and me being like yaaa sure ya key word being fake:NOT F-ING REAL ok so ya then he was horrible 2 me at school and after at town center hes drunk right and he slike just being a total

asshole

and its just incredible how u can think you know someone but u really dont because the moment when it comes to them showing u they trust or care about u they back out or get drunk and beomce total losers like i mean when i heard he liked that natalie girl i had enough trust to ask him aobut it and like find out if it was true rather then just go get drunk and act like a dumbass like argh. && to top it all off im so0o0o confused about a ton of other shit schools a bitch familys not so ggreat lately what do i have besides my friends right now? nothing :( its times like these that are in life for one reason and one reason only to show you the true meaning of friendship and those who care about you and today eveyr single one of my friends that were there/ex bf showed me that and i cant help but smile sometimes because i know they care. At the same time i still love but i do get the feeling its highly one sided and not worth my time anymroe i mean its not the first time he treats me bad and stuff why do it put up with it? cause i love him? at first i thought no cause i really loved ryan before he broke up with me and if ryan wud have pulled that shit it wud have been over. Is it cause hes older? do i feel "cool" going out with him? i truly dont know actually that might be it though i doubt it. Could it be cause the way he treats me when things are fine, the way he can be such a great person..when no one else is around..ya maybe thats it...who knows im sure i dont all i know

is

I do love him and i wouldnt want it to end over a stupid thing like a fake conv. but sometimes theres just nothing you can do because when you werent meant to be with someone..you just arent..no matter how much you fell in love with them the second they walked into your party, no matter how good it fells when

he

holds and kisses you, no matter what sometimes...its just not whats meant to happen and i have to understand that or else im going to end up living my whole life sufffering over someone whos not

worth it

...or is he? As you might have noticed i cant but i still wonder. Was he acting like this tonite just cause he was drunk

?

did he do it cause of what he "thinks" i did? i dont know but i wish i did gosh im just so confused...all i know is that im not sure i want it to end no matter how sure i say i am..and that well the next part i cant mention because im nto in the mood to get my ass kicked lol but yaa maybe something is again and ahh idk we'll see what happens maybe when hes "sober" Song Of The Day: Polygraph, Right Now-THE SPiLL CANVAS