god- how can he go from being so freaking sweet on wednesday to being such a prick to me earlier tonight? i ask him ONE question,and make an apology, and what do i get for it? "go away" even the concert didnt really take my mind off of it. i need a good cry. i need a good cry and a good write, to prevent a good... well yeah... you know... he makes no sense to me. i dont know if arjay's been ontoday, though i doubt it... all my hopes have been cracked, some smashed with those two words from him. if only there were some way to tell him, make him understand the effect he has on people... like me... if he truly KNEW his power, he is wiser than taht i think, and he would be more careful about how he used it. but he feels. if only there were a way to make him feel BAD. i dont want to, i really dont, but i think arjay mayneed to bring dust back out of the little crevice he's been placed in. well... i promise myself and any of you who have concern for me, that i WILL NOT cut. i will TRY my best not to do anythign even remotely self destructive, as bad as i want to feast my eyes on blood at the moment, i will not give myself that satisfaction.
i give hugs to those who care, and i ask for them in return.