i am minorly freaking out now... i dont know what thename of the dead parrot is... and now one of those things that gave me sanity... that i had quite a bit of control over... has been taken away from me by people who didnt even know about it. oh well.... maybe i'll just start sending stuff too... i dont know... im afraid of what she'll say... i am terrified. after chuck and all... god... shit shit shit. but there is paul...and the reassurance. but tomorrow.. ugh. shit shit shit.