I cut last night... the little tiny round wound from a pair of clippers... it didnt hurt. it didn't bleed. it was unsatisfying. the scab sucks too. its greenish and infected. itmakes me laugh. ::laughs:: and then... today in math... i poked the skin away, breaking it slowly until it left a lightly pink mark with a safety pin... i can't believe I did that.... so unbefuckinglievably ashamed. but its pretty. and it is red. haha. why does it feel so good and so bad at the same time? they gave her a hotline. nobody thinks i need a hotline. I have a whole book full of hotlines I could and should call... but mom is around and I cant stand to let her find out.