I havent wrote on here 4a bit.. but i havent been on the computer much. Hmmm, i dont know what to write about. When im not on here i think of tuns of things, but now im blank... lol ughhh, idunno. Nothings really new, ive been hanging out at phils lots.. *women beater* lol jks, i love him. Anyways.. ughh im on this soccer team, and we have stuff liek 5 times a week... and it takes up so much of my life, and im getting so sick of it. I wanna hang out with my friends more, lol.. i miss them. I really wanna hang out with alex too, lol but idunno, hes really busy too. But, sometiems.. i think i say things, cus i really want them to happen, but then.. i feel bad, cus i think im like making them do something. Hmm, idunno, i make no sence. ...Ive been thinking though, i really wanna relationship... like theres people i would die to just be with, but really, would u rather be really good friends, or chance ur friendship. Relationships are so freaking confussing to me right now. I just dont think i can have one.. i have some really good guy friends, i can tell anything to one of them, i dont know why.. but i have totaly trust in them, and its not like we were ever really really close. Were getting there i guess, its just, whenever i talk to them.. i can say anything, and i know they wont tell anyone. Thats something id really want in a relationship... cus i hate it when u get ignored, ive been there before. U try so hard, to always be there for them, and just have fun with them.. but they dont really care. Ive also been in the whole mix up of "friends" and then "more then friends".. sometimes i just dont think it works. I mean, u can be soo close, and just feel so awsome when ur with someone, but when u cross that line.. just being friends.. it can really mess things up, or it could work out great. °·xOx·°