Today i had soccer all day.. again. From 10am till like 8pm.. we went ovr to my coachs house an watched a movie after and made smores, lol so that wus okay. Seven, omg its the scariest movie in the world lol. i love those girls, there so awosme lol. Cept, well.. ughh Lately, sumones been kindah driving me crazy.. im not gonna mention any names, but holy shit.. i think im gonna die. I thought i wus the only person who noticed anything, but turns out.. im not. I found out that sum of the other girls think this as well... maybe not to the same extent, but omg. It takes alot for someone to make me pissed off, and i am lol.. i just never ever say anything about it, ever.. to anyone.. and as soon as i hear one person say anything about -anonymous- i just let it all out, lol. It felt so wierd, cus i nvr let any of my anger out, ever... i just always feel so bad, becus i think sumthing might happen if i tell anyone how i feel about anyone. I hate it. I dont know why i cant. Im just so scared of hurting other people... even the people who have hurt me. This is where the whole pushover shit comes in.. i dont want to be, but.. well, ughh.. i dont know how to stand up for myself. I guess thats it. I just dont want to hurt anyone at all, or make anyone else feel bad because of what ive said. I just, i dont know how to let it all out. Okay, this person only thinks about themselves. She hasnt been treating anyone good, she thinks shes all high n mighty.. and i hate it. There always saying stuff to me, and it makes me feel like shit, but i nvr ever say anything to her. I dont want her to know how i feel, cus she'll get mad... and i dont wanna make anyone mad, or upset.. thats why i just keep it inside. i dont know what else to do. So many people do so many things, little things.. that either drive me crazy, or arent the nicest, but i cant tell them how i feel. Theres been so many times in the past, that some of my close friends have done things behind my back, and ive found out... and they made me so mad, maybe not mad.. but i just felt violated, and i couldnt believe they'd do that.. but i didnt say anything, an just let it go.. and they ended up doing the exact same thing a year later. I could go on and on about things that have happened, or things people do, or say to me, and that ive never said anything to them. And its driving me crazy, cus i dont know how to handle it. So many people call me a pushover, or say im just overly nice.. but its not like i try to be nice, or i decided to let people do whatever to me.. i just dont know how to handle it, without hurting anyone else. I realy dont wanna hurt anyone.. id rather just keep it all inside. °·XoX·°