I don’t understand how book stores can devote a whole section to a joke book without putting it in the comedy section. I am, of course, referring to these “self-help” books, where in the author divulges all his worldly knowledge on the philosophies that most pertain to life. The key issues these books try to resolve are low confidence, minimal happiness and measures of success. All of them very real problems, however, hardly subject matter for a book designed for an idiot. I call it an idiots book, because the genre in itself is highly suspicious, “Self-Help”. How am I suppose to take anything this book says seriously when they’ve already abused the language? “Self-Help”, it’s more than a blatant oxymoron, it’s down right stupid. If you did it yourself, you didn’t need help. If someone else told you how to do it, that’s help, not self-help. We all agreed on the language, let’s start using it properly. This is, however, the first travesty against language these books commit. The more I read one of these books, the more I realized it read like an abortion…or as the book would encourage me to say, the premeditated, doctor assisted, miscarriage. The use of euphemisms was very discouraging for my incentive to finish the book. It surmised that negative language, produced negative attitudes, thusly producing negative feedback. This negative feedback would create conflicts and produce unhappiness. So it, subtly, encouraged the use of softer terms and a courteous care for language. Translation: compromise yourself to satisfy the wants and needs of others. A bit like altruism, only no one grows from idle praise. Similarly, no one can grow with parameters. A parameter set by the evil dictator, label. Label, as described, will put you into a mind frame, that directly correlates with the obligations society has placed on it. This mind frame guides your action in accordance to that preset by society and thus creating a trap impossible of escape. So they discourage the use of labels. This premise caused my brain to scream in agony. To begin, a label is a word, and this inescapable trap is a definition. A definition, does not predicate action, and the idea that it would, implies that words can enslave you. This is without a doubt, foolish. How else could you identify something without giving it a label? Am I just supposed to pretend it’s something like it, but not quite, amazingly lifting any obligations that may be attached to the word? No. It’s simple; you identify it, and proceed with what seems like a reasonable course of action, or inaction. It’s very simple to not do anything in place of doing something. Lastly, this is just another example of the book trying to control your language. When someone starts trying to control my language, I’m immediately alerted of mind control. Why? It is because, more or less, people think with words, and if someone starts to control the words I can and can’t use, they’re directly affecting my thoughts and the kind of thoughts I can have. I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if the message they were giving me weren’t moronic renditions of Aristotle’s metaphysics. That is the author’s solution to your lack of happiness. By giving you a couple quotes and a half-semester of philosophy educated summary of how you can redefine your interpretations of happiness and the causes of such moments. For the most part, they just spew out long, deadening sentences that eventually come to the conclusion of ignorance is bliss. Ignore the bad, because if you don’t know about it, it doesn’t exist. This will work fine and dandy, until it festers for 20 years manifesting itself in a workplace shooting. I could go on about the less effective means to boost low confidence and success, but that is beside the point. Upon reading more, I came across more evidence that supported a subliminal purpose. The book was actually manufactured to make you content with being a slave to corporate masters. What’s more beneficial to a corporation and its owners with happier workers? Happy workers who actually enjoy their job, and will put exuberant amounts of effort into what they do, in hopes they may eventually progress up the corporate ladder. It all made sense to me after coming to this conclusion, the encouragement of euphemisms, avoiding conflict, being content with what you have, ways to deal with stress without killing your boss, it’s all designed to engineer your brain for slavery. I think we should have more book burning rallies. We haven’t had one in a while and the filth is starting to clutter, a good purging is all we need. We can use “for Dummies” as the starter, throw on the self-help and get the fire really roaring with the Harlequin romance books. It would be the most beautiful, cleansing fire in history. I can rest easy in the knowledge that the books will degrade quickly when our empire has collapsed. Saving us from embarrassment when alien explorers come examine our remains or rather the plastic we left behind.