A chain letter I received that initiated the undying ire I have for people. It is a modest adaptation to better reflect the true ideals of men. Why guys like girls and other propaganda disseminated by misguided women. Date: Sun, 28 Aug 2005 19:37:06 +0930 Have you ever wondered why guys like women? well apparently the common thought amongst men is wrong, but not to worry I will translate any misconceptions brought up in this chain letter. Reasons Why Guys Like Girls: 1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo. - really even after they fart? believe me, their farts don't smell like cinnamon buns and rainbows. I'd called it a combination of old man and dead whale. 2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder. -Better yet how our open palms finds their face when they're being stupid. 3. How cute they look when they sleep -Men have better things to do than watch women sleep. Specially since they aren't cute, they're loud and covered in drool. 4. The ease in which they fit into our arms - the ease in which we fit in between their legs. 5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world. - Until you look at your bank account and find that they've robbed you of every penny. 6. How cute they are when they eat. - you must be joking, gluttonous pig or anorexic whore. 7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while. -really you could save us the trouble and not get dressed. 8. Because they are always warm even when it’s minus 30 outside. - It’s easy to be warm when you’re in the house all day getting fat. 9. The way they look good no matter what they wear. -God! Women are one dimensional. How about those hookers on the street, not many would say they look good. 10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth. -sounds to me like women are not only conceited but have low self-esteem issues that are clearly not going to be solved with a shallow compliment. 11. How cute they are when they argue. -I love to argue, it's one of my past times. Arguing with women is not cute; they're annoying, ignorant and loud. Half the time they don't argue they just use cheesy insults and sarcasm, what a combination. 12. The way her hand always finds yours. - The way her hand finds me the remote or my wallet. 13. The way they smile. - I’ll give them this one, it's moderately genuine 14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight. - thought,” What a fucking bitch!" 15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later.... - she's going to make you sleep on the couch compounded with a week long guilt trip. Women can be so mature. 16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them. -Thought,” I’m getting laid tonight!" 17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you" - I'm glad this is so easy, I don't even have to mean it. 18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you... - okay kissing is fun, but let’s not give it to much credit. 19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry. -usually about something trivial. 20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly. - hey cool I didn't even read this one yet, I guess even women deep down understand that it's trivial. 21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt. -last girl to hit me, I gave her a head butt and kicked her in the stomach. 22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (Even though we don't admit it)! -if it did hurt, she damn well better apologize and give me lots of make up sex, or she gets a head butt. 23. The way they say "I miss you" -clinger issues. 24. The way you miss them. - for sex 25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore(through war and violence?)..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them(what because i love you, you expect me to commit suicide when you die? keep dreaming) ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart(apart of maybe, but not consumed). We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice.(and yet you attempted to make an awful e-mail, how pleasantly - contradictory) It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.(really, i'm pretty sure your mind has alot to do with this, but it's way easier to sound romantic when you follow stereotypes.) A feeling. Only felt(ooo clever, I wasn't aware feelings were meant to be felt, I guess since they are the same word in different context it stands to reason.). This chain started in 1997. It is a love chain letter. In an hour you are supposed to send it to 25 people. It is easy, just look into chat rooms and find them. Anyway, send it to 25 people in 1 hour. Now here comes the fun part.....and it goes on like this telling you to send it to random people to further spread all the lies and how terrible your life will be if you don't. AHAHA, I do think you should send it now that it has been modified to better represent the male psyche.