Signs if you’re a substandard human • Do you feel [insert teenage subculture] makes you feel unique or defiant? • Is the letter “U” considered a word when writing to your friends on msn? • Is the word “friend” something you only apply to people known over the internet or internet based games? I.e. Guild Wars, Everquest. Final Fantasy XI. • Does the thought of walking any distance frighten or disgust you? • When taking time to read is it a TV guide, or celebrity propaganda magazines? • Did you vote for George Bush? • Are you George Bush or in anyway related to the Bush family? • Do you think homosexuals are people? • Are you a homosexual/Bisexual/Transsexual? • Do you believe in Angels? • Do you think the world would be a better place with world wide peace? • Do you feel life is sanctioned? • Does thought frighten or bewilder you? • Do you follow the latest fashion trends? • Are you obsessing over bands, with the zeal of a religious fanatic? • Were you born with any strange oddities? I.e. extra toes • Do you refute God’s existence? • Do you believe in Destiny? • Do you count your carbs? • Are you a supporter of hippie beliefs? • Do you think moral fiber is something in your diet? • Do you hate your government (applies to western civilization only)? • Do you do drugs (omitting alcohol)? • Did you drop out of high school because you were pregnant or too stupid? • Do you piddle away your youth on countless hours validating your life by emotionally attaching yourself to others? • Is suicide your first solution to any problem you come across? • Have you ever failed at committing suicide? • Do you have a ridiculous fear of something harmless? I.e. balloons, bullets, tin foil • When in conversation do you often find yourself gossiping or blowing hot air just to fill in the silence because you have nothing relevant to talk about? • Does the idea of raping and touching small children turn you on? • Do you listen to rap/country? • Are you a rapper/country singer? (assuming what they do is singing) • Have you ever had or considered plastic surgery in an attempt to look more appealing? (because everyone knows plastic is a real turn on) • Do you or your friends enjoy watching reality TV shows? • Do adult cartoons turn you on? • Are you above the age of 7 and still wear your base ball cap backwards? • When articulating a sentence, does the word fuck appear more than once? • Do you or anyone you know stalk ex-boyfriends/girlfriends? (This is your fault too because you aren’t stopping them) • Do you use terms like, “newbie”, “blogger”, “liberal” or “new age” often in your day-to-day language? Answering yes to anymore than 5 of these and you are indeed less than a person. Answering yes to 10 or more and the residence of a mass grave is the only crowd you'd fit in with.