There’s a reason leaders invented genocide. It’s because at some point in time some guy got tired of hearing why the chicken crossed the road and decided that anyone who still found that joke hilarious should be killed. The idea caught on and more leaders started to execute mass amounts of people for other similar reasons, I.E. which invisible man they pray to, the colour of their skin, they way they tie their shoe lace, which hand they write with. All of these are perfectly acceptable reasons to have people murdered, but before I leave this abomination to all things in this universe, I would enjoy seeing the following people strangled in front of their family. Have you ever gotten a chain letter? Yes? Did you send it to other people like it asked? Yes? Well congratulation! You made it to the top of the list of people I would like to see dead. I can’t stand chain letters, I hate the people who make them and I absolute loathe the people who help keep these in circulation. If genocide weren’t so bent on efficiency, I’d opt to have you people tortured slowly. All this ire seethes for you, because a chain letter is just one more example how our phenomenal potential can be wasted on superstition, especially when it involves our one true love or instant messenger. “Send this to 20 different people in 5 mins and your one true love will call you”, “send this to 15 people and msn won’t cost you money”, “send this to 25 different people and 5 dollars will go to some degenerate teenager that died early, because of some pathetic tragic story”. I didn’t think people were this gullible until I got the same inane chain letter just weeks after deleting it. It’s worse than that case of herpes you got from that sordid thing you picked up moments before last call. The worse part is it’s usually from some sort pseudo intellect with a goofy name. Where did all these goofy names come from? Things like Chastity, Hope, Ocean, Meadow, Shillow, Shadow, and Dove to name a few. Well if you’re one of the parents that had a massive brain lapse while naming your child, you made it into the big list of people who’d look better in a mass grave. I’m not going to enlist the children for a sudden visit by the angel of death, namely because it isn’t their fault their parents stuck too many crayons in their nose. Honestly, what were these adults thinking? If their aim was to show how they’ve remained “young” at heart by naming their child something that inspires parental execution, then mission accomplished. But they don’t stop there; they even had the audacity to purposely misspell existing names in some incongruous attempt to be unique. Well guess what you yuppie freaks, it isn’t cute or unique, it’s fucking stupid. Your child is just going to look retarded every time he has to explain to his teachers why his name is spelt wrong. There’s nothing wrong with the old names and we don’t need you self-important rectal belches changing them. My final and probably largest pool of mongrels that should be put on the fast track to Satan are the readers, writers, producers and anyone even remotely affiliated to tabloids. Yes I mean celebrities too. Who the fuck cares which hollow celebrity is pregnant? It leaves me catatonic that there are people who are so vacuous as to find something as common as pregnancy entertaining and worthy to be printed; like somehow the lives of celebrities are so unique. Trust me, lying, cheating, low confidence, paranoia, despicable acts of dishonesty, and multiple partners are nothing special, it happens to people not found on the big screen too. I’ve never actually read any of the tabloids and for good reason too. The cover titles are as appealing as a big bowl of poop with chucks of corn. Things like, “great abs in 20 seconds”, “Tricks to eat less and lose weight”, “off the chart orgasms” and “Sexy spring dresses you’ll only wear once” are just some of the titles that bring up that familiar taste of bile. Sure those titles are slightly exaggerated, but only in honesty. The tabloids are full of more bullshit than all the governments officials combined. And just like the government officials it’s half vacuous content and the other half is frivolous advertisements. “Buy this electric clit tickler that makes more noise than that screamer you found at the bar”, “battle black heads with this high-powered laser”, “close your pores with this platinum vice”. Boring, useless and inane, fits right in with out rustic, capitalistic North American values. So big or small genocide, they all had a reason and I can relate. Sure some are a little more zealous than others, but I was raised to be tolerant of other people’s preferences – when it’s convenient. I sometimes wish we had dictator that could get rid of these people, not like our lazy liberal/conservative government. Oh yeah, I hate people, I hate the things we do and I hate people who condone it.