Incomplete ideas It’s Easier Being a Man While browsing my local book store I came across a section called “Well-Being”. Half of the shelf was consumed by female authors writing about how woman can live a fuller and happier life, the other half was female authors writing about how to improve sex. This was a rather interesting find, because it told me that there is a larger market pool of depressed women than men. This got me wondering why men seem to generally be happier without the need of some paltry knowledge from an undergraduate of leisure studies. Based on the number of sex books and it’s abundance in conversation, I started looking there. Immediately it made sense, it all has to do with visibility. A man knows who he is pretty much as soon as he figures out how his penis works. Not a complicated task in the least. Since everything is on the outside he can see it and observe it like an ape would examine a new tool to dig for bugs. He finds out what it does and all is good in his world, his self has been discovered and there isn’t any need of inward soul searching, he can now focus outwardly to define himself. This is the contrast between men and women. Women have the misfortune of having all their plumbing on the inside, and unless they are freakishly limber they don’t get much opportunity to see it with their own eyes. This only adds to the problem, the vagina and it’s inner workings are already complicated enough, in sex ed I was introduced to an artists rendition of what could be found in a woman; to say the least, I thought it was a map of Toronto and the surrounding areas. So, their self discovery is a long and arduous process, involving lots of awkward conversation with other woman, reading lots of books and communing with their inner feminine emotions. Looking into another woman’s vagina doesn’t help, because it isn’t theirs, it’s someone else. Vegans Baffle Me I’ve always been rather skeptical of anything that went against our natural tendency to eat both meat and vegetables. However, a close friend of mine has decided to venture down that path, rather than scoff it out rightly, I decided to research it. To say the least, I wasn’t disappointed. It was just as absurd as predicted. Before I begin, I would like to point out that the Vegan society boasted of their swelling numbers; a number that ranges between 3-5 million per major western country (US, Canada and UK). To an impressionable teenage mind or an adult with no concept of the world this seems pretty big, but to anyone with a brain they’re going to research the actual number and according to imaner.net, they make up about 0.6% of the population. This works out to be a quarter of a million or a small city. Not very impressive is it? However, the major problem with this is that it’s a fallacious statement, Argumentum ad populum. Let’s all do the same thing because it’s popular! Excuse me while I collect the shattered remains of my respect for people. The fact that these pseudo-scientists would even consider adding this as evidence is a testimony to their lack of knowledge. To compound the problem they added testimonies from popular athletes who converted to veganism. Does anyone else see a problem with this? I like to call improper appeal to authority. Just because these athletes are in superb health does not equate the diet being healthy. Especially since most, if not all, these athletes have personal trainers, who have taken years of schooling to watch and control what the athlete eats. Those were the problems I found on my initial survey. Now, it’s time to examine their rationalization for this bizarre decision. For the most part it’s to reduce the suffering of animals. What a noble sentiment- it warms my heart and soul. BARF! “Reduce the suffering of animals”, what a load of hippie garbage. Like their suffering would be any less in the “naturally” cruel environment. At least now they’re getting all the food they could want without working for it, more steroids than they could shake a tail at and let’s not forget the added bonus of being killed off at their prime; allowing them to avoid the tiresome and painful years of old age. Hell I’m sold, where I can sign up for this treatment. Then there’s the products tested on animals that they refuse to use. I don’t understand their logic. What are we suppose to test these products on, other people? That’s appalling! You’d fit right in with Hitler’s ensemble. Well can we at least start with you people, so long as you are going to protest its use of products on animals? Their greatest argument for the diet is the growing health concern of obesity. Here’s where they start doing some scientific gymnastics. They drone on about the evil trans-fats found in processed foods, without acknowledging that it is a cheap and efficient energy source. This seems to be the only up side to eating vegan food, the lack of trans-fats. If you want anything of value from your food you’re going to have to get multi-vitamin pills. You know the all natural pill for these overzealous nature freaks. Way to go geniuses, you really know how to sell a diet that’s healthy when it recommends you take supplementary pills. Fucking dumb asses! This is just as bad as the random numbers they pull out their ass to justify that the land is inefficiently used on livestock. They say that it takes 6 kg of plant product to produce 1kg of meat. Wanna know what this tells me? PLANT FOOD HAS LITTLE TO NO CALORIC VALUE! It’s insane how much 1 kg of meat can sustain a person. Why? It’s because meat contains all kinds of proteins, and fats. Here are some numbers you can actually use, carbohydrates yield 4.1 calories per gram (cal/g), protein yield 4.3 cal/g and fat is a staggering 9.3 cal/g. Carbs are mostly found in plant products and for the most part contain very little protein, amino acids and fats. So no wonder it takes so much plant product to sustain livestock. Get a better angle you ignorant hippies. Titles I Carry Like Badges of Honor Here is a modest list of names and titles that have been bestowed upon me by various peers who are self-appointed people of authority on these things. Unsympathetic Cruel Evil Arrogant Pompous Critical Cynical Absurd Stupid Snide Malicious Melancholic Fear monger Hate monger Unforgiving Heartless Conceited Prick Asshole Fucking Dick Fucker Ass Dick Bastard Homophobe Male Chauvinist Close minded Ignorant There is more, but those are the most prominent