I take a look at old Polaroid's of my childhood. Couldn't have been older than 6. I span my memory back to that day, that hour, that moment. I see inside myself. I look through my own eyes. Thinking back now, it couldn't have possibly been the same eyes, same soul. To think of the world so peaceful and full of opportunity seems very fictional now. But at that moment it was reality. And I lived everyday in that innocent, ignorant bliss. And I was truly happy. To have seen myself as such a independent , strong, and curious youngster, I would have been dazzled and out right buried with the knowledge I obtain now. But at the time, I might as well have called myself queen. And as for boys, well I didn't dwell much on boys. Boys were gross. And the girls that liked them? Well, they weren't any friends of mine. I spent my days chasing butterflies and finding lizards. And if I was lucky, catching lizards. Mud pies were a regular on the menu, and as for clean and tidy clothes? Unheard of. Things were easier as a kid. Hurt feelings were usually the aftermath of a play date being cancelled, or mom not letting you stay up to watch the rest of a television program. Boys had no control over my feelings. And for the most part, in my mind, boys didn't need to exist. The only boy in my life was Daddy. But soon, there was no father to speak of, and once again boys didn't need to exist. For someone to tell me at that age that one day I would like boys, or even want to kiss one, would probably result in an upset stomach and an awful taste in my mouth. I thought I could live the rest of my life completely run by the wonders of the outdoors. And was I wrong. Now fast forward 9 1/2 years. Sitting in my room, having liked my fair share of boys (not to mention kissed) I sit and wonder why we have to go through this. I remember reading books and watching movies about the princess being rescued and prince charming swooping her up in his arms and the last words on the screen being "happily ever after". Silly huh? Yeah, I think so too. But three months ago this almost seemed like a reality to me. My best friend of 4 years and myself went to a movie that I had been wanting to see for a long time. The movie was great. And everything was great. This is probably a good place to say that my best friend was a boy. A boy I had liked as long as I'd known him. It was so difficult liking someone that thought of you as someone they could talk to about their own relationship problems. But I kept hope. I kept hope for 4 years. And that night, after the movie, my one deepest wish came true. The boy I had been head over heals for (and never thought I had a chance with) kissed me right under the stars with no warning. I fell hard. So hard, I never wanted to look back. And he kept me reassured that the feeling was mutual. Every night logged on the phone, clogging the line, chatting about useless irrelevant things. I was the happiest I had ever been. Everything seemed to get better. I was so excited to wake up, to go to school, to clean my room. He effected everything. Everything, no matter how bad it was, would turn out okay, just as long as I had him. And for about two months, it was. Perfect. Month number three, however, was a definite turning point in my life. The daily calls stopped coming as often. Hanging out everyday turned into hanging out every 4. And my heart, as strong as I thought it was, began to break. Every day from then on, I just hoped I could talk to him, let alone see him. And every day from then on, things got worse. And one night, after being stood up by my prince charming I received a phone call. A phone call that a girl never wants to receive. It was my prince charming (in a very liquored state) telling me my fairy tale was over. His voice was cold and free of emotion. And for the first time in my life, I wanted to die. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I wanted so much for my one true wish to be re-run over and over again. But in the back of my mind, I had been expecting it. Now the story flops around a bit from here. You see, prince charming was a confused prince, and didn't seem as charming from then on. The prince did ask the princess back, and she took him back. Only to have her heart twisted and shaped into whatever he felt convenient for him. And this went on for a while, until the princess found those old Polaroid's of herself. And she thought back to those memories. And she thought about how she would have never allowed this to happen back then. So the princess did what she thought she could never do. She told prince charming her feelings, and of course, he stated his plea and it wasn't what she wanted to hear. But it was what she had to hear. So the princess told the prince that she couldn't do things his way anymore. So now, in place of the relationship, there is a rocky and definitely unstable friendship. A friendship that probably will never be as great as it was before. But it is impossible to say because the future is left untold. But as I sit here and write out my life story I can't help but silence my tears and clean up my makeup because I am still that independent, strong, and curious youngster. I have my entire life ahead of me and no prince charming is going to take what is left of me away. Goodbye Tyler.