I cant even begin to deal with the problem im facing right now. Its so illogical that my mind doesnt know how to face it. I'm so fed up and inside out i dont know how to react. I hate this problem. When im with him i dont care, i dont feel like im missing anything. i dont reminisce, i just dont care. But i miss the way i felt when i was with him. I miss caring about someone. I miss someone caring about me. Its not the product i miss, it's the fine print on the package. The thing that bothers me the most is that he seems to care for everyone else but me. Like im something horrible and deformed. Or a really bad person.. when in all actuality i was the only one who cared. The only one who stood behind him when everyone else sided with his so-called friends and judged and laughed. I was the only one that instead of pointing out his flaws built up his qualities so that he could have an ounce of self esteem for once in his life instead of being brought down by people half as good as him. But what should i expect from someone who cant live an honest day of their made up life. It sucks when you see the good in someone but it all gets foggy and covered up by the bad. And those so-called friends bring out the bad and reinforce it. And they try to tear him down because they think it will make him see things more clearly. But all it really does is make him worse. They need to make him feel good. They need to reinforce him with some confidence in himself. And the fact that he thinks theyre his friends make me sick. It makes me so fucking angry i want to scream at all of them. How can people be so cruel? i cant handle it. and i cant control it. So this is where i draw the line. Im done with it. Theres nothing left that i can do. You try your hardest and hope for the best.