I want to learn to fight my insecurities. They're tearing me apart and i absolutely do not want them to be any sort of fuel for this fire. I need to take a deep breath and just accept that i cannot control the things i cannot control. No matter how hard i try. and that whatever happens is just going to have to be enough. It's hard to have someone you care so much about dwindling on a string in front of you. I want him here on the ground with me not floating in and out of my emotions. One week i'm secure, i feel good. But the next... i'm a nervous wreck. I don't know if after that day i might not get to see him or hug him or kiss him again. I think the real problem here isn't my insecurities. Although they do not help the situation i think that he is much more of the culprit. I don't know why boys have such difficulties knowing what they want. I know exactly what i want... and i guess after all this time i've been avoiding it it's time you make a decision.