just to mix it up and confuse you further by putting things in a weird order, (today, yesterday, tomorrow... :-p).. i'm now going to talk about the future.. tomorrow i'm going to a "hot fudge sundae party" for calculus- yes, that's right. calculus. we have to watch a movie- so that's what that's all about.. should be fun.. hopefully. unfortunately tomorrow is also the deadline to pay for our band disneyland trip. i don't think my dad is going to pay. i didn't even get a chance to kiss his ass because the idiots screwed up and didn't notify us of said deadline until this week. i'm not surprised. in his eyes i don't deserve it. well not really in mine either. but the way i see it, it's one of my last opportunities to do something cool with my friends. and i feel like my parents owe me everything. i know- you can tell me it's completely erroneous and completely irrational.. but when they brought me into existance they're the ones who wanted it. no one took my wishes into consideration. i don't even want to be here- which is why i don't do anything (and consequently why they think i deserve nothing)- but they owe ME! if they want me here then they can pay for what it takes to keep me here. i was really looking forward to this and to be honest it was one of the few things i did give a shit about. oh well.. makes me want to cry again. and if you're thinking "oh, poor baby, she can't get everything whe wants" or "you're a bloody lunatic" then i'll kick your ass. i've already given someone a good solid elbow in the stomach today. i'm not afraid to do it to you. yes. i have no future, because i have nowhere to go and nothing to care about. yes, i am off my nut. and now i think i've run out of things that i can possibly complain about. of course, i could launch into the joys the distant past just so i can stay here and not feel alone. haha.. sitting in the dark, by myself, in front of the computer keeps me from feeling alone..