I feel moved to express my thoughts on religion now. Plus, I just feel like sharing more that I have written. Because... I think it wants to be read.. :-p oh- Before You Read: beware, for you may find this depressing. do not worry about me, fortunately I do not feel so low on this night... I think religion is really great, and I kind of wish I had something to believe in. It could be comforting. But I have so little faith... I can just never seem to believe it, especially the way I feel sometimes: "I read for comfort and to relieve my fear. Seeking, Seeking.. and finding? Oh yes, finding, but only things of dreadful nature. I know that I am worthless -and there is nothing I can do- When I cry out to you for help I recieve only words; Ominous of suffering and of doom. I am left barren. An empty void. Lost in my own nothingless. I am sure that God is there. But he does not care for me. I have nothing in my heart to recieve him with. And the space is the emptier for it. I have nothing to fill the ragged hole. I have always known that I am different. Malformed. And the excess volume of my heart may only be filled with base emotions, through the engine of it’s own inefficient workings. One day it will become so poisoned, that the pressure will tear it apart. Already I feel the sickness, and I tried to will it to stop, before I cursed myself for not being other than I am. The tears ran hot and many; Wetness impacting the pillow softly. Oh, the sharpness of the pounding in my brain. The pain came and the relief brought only more. Will it never cease? This has been my forever and I think it will never leave until I do the same. It follows me as the tears follow pain, as the pain follows tears. Such is my nightly peace."