i cant help but HATE, i mean absolutely HATE parts of my life most parts like 99% of it and i dont know why it just feels like a horrible dream thats going by too quick to soak in im not going to lie...ive developed huge trust issues...huge relationship issues... i cant help but think every now and then 'this is one huge practical joke played on me' you dont really care for me..and all these people saying you do, that they hope something sparks up, they are just in on it. and when i finally let my guard down and get confident they will all scream "just kidding!!!" because if time has taught me anything its that i dont get to be one of those girls who can hold a guys hand and he'll hold her in his arms and she can just smile and mean it ...im one of those girls that runs in circles and screams for the pure joy of screaming, who dances in the rain and stands up for what she thinks is right, who loves shiny things and has ADD and everyone thinks is just ditzy and stupid but no one takes the time to find out who i really am... im the underrated puppet people like to think they can pull the strings of, but in all reality im just going along with it to make them happy, they dont realize i can see through everything ugh but im always paranoid if i call him he'll just be like "why is she calling me...wtf...i never wanted her to" but maybe maybe im just making the same mistake twice can i really let him get away like i did with talon? maybe im meant to.. and be alone.. maybe i was never meant to have someone like those girls do hell im just the fun friend anyway nothing more ...never anything more.. im the question mark that isnt worth considering..