Someone asked how i've been feeling lately... Wanna know how ive been feeling lately? "This is the craze only we can bestow This is the price you pay for loss of control This is the break in the ground This is the closest of calls This is the reason you're alone, this is the reason you fall!" i feel fucked up, alone, forced into shit, like im only here for others amusement, broken, defeated, worthless, smitten, sorrowful, wrong, wretched, wounded, miserable, misplaced, misunderstood, unloved, ditched, powerless, hurt, inadequete, fed up, in pain, detached, discarded, destructive, distroyed, deserted, deprived and god damn isolated. thats only the beginning too... i feel so fuckin....BLAH!! i hate feeling how i do. i hate my life currently. i hate being alone... this is my away message currently..while im sorting things out in my head and writing this.. "Why do i rip myself apart on the inside and out to make everyone around me happier..only to leave myself with the disaster i created in helping others...?? i wish i knew..i feel better helping but i feel horrible destroying myself in the process... ...i need a wee bit of time to think.... sorry" With some people is i help and im helped... Basically, with Gretchen... heh..how great... With anyone else...its like my away message. i feel like the world is going "DANCE PUPPET, DANCE!!", and im forced to comply. I wish i could change things..i've been trying....trying SO HARD But i hate being the one to crawl back on my knee's to the people that left you behind, only to be the worthless peice of shit everyone pity's... I hate how everything is going.... i have the passive side of me that i show my 'friends'... and then i have my [insert entry] side that i hide and live with on my own..besides here and with the few i share it with. i tried asking others...they could care less so i stopped.. ...i hate being alone...