So... last night i had one of those near-death things scary and messed up idk i dont want you to want me i want you to hate me only because i dont want to hurt you i know i will oh god i know i will and i could NEVER forgive myself because you dont deserve that i could never live with myself knowing i put that ache in you. but god dammit, is it too late to reverse it??? it is..but...im not that deep into it.. maybe if i pull away maybe from everyone more than i am now no one will care and ill just cease to exist from everyone god if only it was that easy