Ever notice that when you need someone to talk to...you have no way of talking to anyone...for some reason or something... "Maybe im a girl, maybe im a lonely girl who's in the middle of something..." I love this song for reasons unknown..maybe i just relate to it so well.. i feel like im dying inside all around my heart..maybe it has to do with the breakdown i had earlier... My dad was verbally abusing me again...screaming at me for being online..watching my every move..my other family members were insulting me and laughing...what a great family, heh... So i cut once...only once...see what that fuckin monster of a man does to me? i wanted to stop so bad..and i didnt think that one cut wasnt too bad...but it keeps reopening and bleeding like mad..and i did this at 6 something... Then i came back out here and started crying for like, 1/2 hour - 45 mins..i never So many things were running through my mind... Then anger filled me and i went in my room..i started punching things... walls...wooden things...i hurt my hands and the skin is gone from my right knuckle... i have to wear a bandaid so it doesnt touch things..things hurt... i never get so emotionally distraught... never... i feel like doing these things..but i never actually do them.. the funny part.. i was sitting at the computer, which is in the living room, with everyone in it, my hood up, my hands in my face crying *secretly*, but i was crying fuckin hard enough to shake and gasp for air, and no one made even a look at me...no one made a thought... how ironic.. They all ridicule me for being online...i only get 3 fuckin hours, and they dont get that this is my only fuckin escape from all this shit... i tell them..they laugh at my face telling me i need to get a fuckin life... i know i do..but this is my only way of dealing with everything.. they take this and my music away, im gonna fuckin either go insane or kill myself.. and they plan on doing it.. sooner or later.. im sorry..im just venting.. its not my fault im online when i am....i have no control over it..my brother is on the phone or on the computer otherwise... sorry.. sorry im not as you wish i was.. sorry im not perfect sorry i dont live up to your standards sorry im not your fuckin idea of a good kid.. sorry you dont love me.. sorry i hate you all and when you tell me you love me, i laugh in your face.. even though you only say that once every 3 months.. if that... im just fuckin SORRY i have to go now...