hopefully you dont know how i feel. but it is hard when you are always in somebody's shadow. you never get noticed for who you are. you are always so and so's friend. you are never you. it hurts when nobody realizes you can exist by yourself, or when you arent acknowledged because you arent with whoever. it is really a pain. now that i have been trying to make myself someone, i am starting to notice that people know me. they know how i can be. i dont always want to be in a guilt by association situation, but one where its me getting nailed for my problems, not someone elses. i guess its nice having a life all my own, and not having to worry about someone else always being around. things sure as hell get lonely though. the sick part is that i have begun to really value that time: when no one is around, and im just with my self. i think its freaking my parents out. they think im being antisocial or whatever. i dont think anyone realizes that i am enjoying that i am alone with myself for once. i can be me without worrying about someone else. i can say what i want without anyone taking offense. i dont know anymore. this is just turning into one of my stupid rants. but i suppose everyone needs to vent every now and again. some more than others. whatever. things happen for a reason. sometimes you just have to find the reason. i am me. a singular body with one mind and one soul. i am who i made myself. i am that girl i always admired. i am satisfied. laur