i keep forgetting that i can't trust him he's let me down a billion times and i know in my heart he would do it again and not care in the slightest but a few nice words are all it takes. i'm so lame. but who can i trust? i still have my big stupid crush. he is frustrated because i won't let it become anything more. i want to so badly, but i made my decision. so if he moves on and finds someone else i will have noone to blame but myself. :( i like him so much. when i'm with him i don't think i could possibly be any happier if only that was enough... or is it? why do i care so much what other people think? but it's not just that. i know he won't want me forever, and i will be attached, and i will be the one looking stupid, not him. i can't do that to myself. sigh.