i am so torn. i care about him so much. he's the only one i want in the whole world but i am far too selfish to make him happy i am too selfish to make anyone happy i want to be by myself. it makes me want to pull away and run away and not have anybody expecting things of me and relying on me. i want to do what i want when i want the desire is so huge that its starting to creep in on the time i spend with him i hope i don't run away from him it would just kill him i can't handle hurting him. i want him all to myself but i want to push him away at the same time. wtfffffffffff