i love that i don't love him anymore. i don't want him in that way. his girlfriend is a gorgeous girl and i hope they are both happy. i never ever thought i would feel this way towards him.. but i actually don't even want to be with him anymore. i don't know how it happened so suddenly.. a few months ago i thought i would die from not being with him.. i guess maybe because i finally like someone else. so i've screwed this one up as well. missed my chance.. he's moved on too. but i can get over it. i didn't let myself fall that far.. still, it hurts :( but its okay. i just feel really quite lonely. but i think i will be better off by myself for a while. i've been thinking lately about what i want to do with my life. aand, there's nothing :S i just can't for the life of me figure it out. the only thing i actually feel passionately about doing is modelling. it is kind of unrealistic, considering i don't even know where to start. and there are some lifestyle changes i will need to make. but atleast its something to work towards. i want to make a name for myself, i really feel as though i need to. there's nothing else i want to do. so i may as well try. just need somewhere to begin. hmm.