i wish i could stop crying so much,i wish i could take something that would make me stop crying...its liek every little thing sets me off....ok heres wat happened i was arguing wit my stupid spoiled brat of a sister an she kept tellin me 2 shut up so i LIGHTLY splashed her with water an she slapped me really hard so i kinda half pushed half hit her face an cuz of her stupid glasses she started screaming i mean literally screraming liek she was on fire or something.so my mom comes doesnt ask wat happened ,as usual an immediatly get blamed.wthf!!!!!jus typing this makes me burn up.im typin this as both of them are out fixing her glasses i swear i didnt even hit her hard she ALWAYS ALWAYS exaggerates everything an im not exagerating when i say she is the biggest drama quees iv ever known im in hell i hate them both especially my mom ..shes not my mom the way shes been actin lately she never tries 2 understand and she loves rubbin all tthis shyt in my face and yellin at me...no wonder im practically deaf. i thought getting all this out wud help me feel better cuz i tried splashiong cold water on my face liek 3 times but all it does is make me feel numb b4 i start tearing up agian and now im jus bawlin an i can barely c wat im typing....all this time im wondering who can i talk 2 ?no one .. i hav never felt so alone than i do now....i wish sumone had jus killed me instead of some innocent person cuz i at least hav a reason..nothing to keep me going...and everyday i wonder....wud things b different if my padrino was still alive?i wish i had known him.... god i hate living liek this,i hate feeling liek this.. somehow my moms form of punishment is makin me cook dinner(liek i dont do that every freakin day) and by telling me i cant go 2 chris's party...(jenny,mi sister thinks thats y im crying,cuz i cant go...if onli she knew)thats wat gets me even more she acts liek im some shallow person with no feelings..I DONT CARE ABOUT THE STUPID PARTY AND I COULD CARE LESS IF I WENT OR NOT.ITS HOW SHE TREATS ME THAT GETS ME actually theres is somthin she did that really blows she took away my stereo isnt that a little extreme???if i cant hav my music im basically empty..it kills me i cant listen 2 anything but her stupid rants about how im acting immature wit no respect IM IMATURE??? I HAVE NO RESPECT???/ hmm well lets talk about her precious little favorite who is always extra touchy an has no respect for anyone but her self not even 4 our dog all my mom seriously cares about is: her plants(stupid) my sister cindy keeping the house spotless and not lookin bad in front of people could she b any more shawlow o wait i guess i cant really blame her..its all that crazy shit shes been througt thats made her physco i really not only things shes either crazy or right on the edge but she seriously needs help maybe so do i.....or maybe i jus need 2 get out