well i jus realized tht the font of my diary is realli small so i apologize if u guys have a hard time reading this... i jus found out last period that i hav an after skool rehersal...damn i 4got...*sigh*now i hav 2 call my mom an listen 2 her not believe me an threatening 2 come 2 the skool...2 me its not even a threat ne more....jus paranoia... i wonder who else is stayin after... well i found out monday that my grandpa in mexico died...tht realli sux an makes me doubt my belief in god cuz i had been praying for him 2 get better... i feel liek iv already written this down sumwhere...if i hav an its in here thn ill kno 4 sure im really outa it.. i stayed up late monday workin on my project...onli thing tht kept me awake was a frapachino..(i could use one rite now)but i finished 1st period an it looks liek a B 2 me so...ill find out next week.... LOVE....RELATIONSHIPS...FEELINGS...URGES all so Confuzing and hard to control...at times i feel liek doing this i shouldnt...and sometimes i wonder wat i hav gotten into and y....and sometimes old feelings come rushing back and i try 2 push them away b/c im involved in something else...i kno its nobodys fault but my own..an yet i feel liek my emotions are being pulled in diferent directions and scattered about.... an i feel liek i kno wat i want..but at the same time i dont...wats wrong with me...i shouldnt be worrying about this...but it plauges me so... i really need 2 get my grades up...last interim 4 A's a D an 2 F's...my 4th period teacher gave me n F 4 NO REASON iv done everything...an missed one test...but tht cant b it..cuz i had a B+....i seriously think he's racist... an yea...i think thats it for today <3PEACE&LOVE<3