I don't even know what sadistic means. Does anyone else?? Anyways, for some reason, lately, I've been feeling lonely. It's like...all the really good friends I had last year...aren't really good friends anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still love them to death and all, but we dont' hang out or even talk as much anymore. We don't have classes together and with swimming, homework, and work, I have no time for anything. It's quite frustrating. Because it seems like, somehow, they all get the time for hanging out with each other, but I can never come. So when I actually do get more time, they probably won't think about it and I'll never get to do anything with anyone anyway. I thought you got to know more people as you got farther in high school. I don't know anyone. I don't talk to anyone. And it's sad. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm getting more bitchy or less social or more annoying or something. But I'm not getting to know any new people and so it makes me not as happy...and that's why people liked me. *sigh*...who knows. For some reason, I really want to know what sadistic means! But I'm too lazy to walk up stairs to look it up! WAIT!! *light bulb* I can go to....dictionary.com!!!!! Ok...i know what it means now. And it's not how I feel...at all. I've decided that my mood is thoughtful. NOT sadistic. But I'm not going to take the time to change it. Just know that it is thoughtful. I don't know what very many words mean. I've also noticed that this year, I feel a lot dumber than I have in previous years. For some reason, like the teachers say they're "reviewing" stuff from before...but I dont' remember what even half of it is. And I can never pay attention to learn the new stuff. I'm not going to do good in college if/when I go. How depressing. Well, I've got to get back to more homework...