Well. i just bitched at "god" for a good hour. I screamed and cried, and then cried so much i threw up. I bitched at him (him being god, and im not so sure if hes real or not, but i need to blame someone for everything) about how things are so fucked up, and how its not right what he does, and how it makes no sense that hell make so many innocent people die everyday. And i also bitched at him for not letting anything work out for me. And how he always gets my god damn hopes up, and then *bam* fucks them up. Mike and I. Well. Nothing is gonna happen. WE both started school, so we almost never see each other, and theres this "new girl" her names Audrey, shes at his bus stop or something like that. I hope hes happy with her. Stratford was fun for the most part, mid summer might drream and guys and dolls was amazing. I have a massive headache. And Jason... I dont know... if we can still talk.. Cause. Youre just a constant reminder of something that ill never be able to have. But something that i want so god damn badly. Ill call you... when im ready for life again. And no im not going suicidal, i dont believe in suicide anymore. I just need time to think life through... I'm sorry. I love you so much and just writing this im crying my heart out... im sorry.