Yes, this entry is for the boys that have made me feel like shit. The ones those held me close, then pushed me off the edge. To the stupid fucks, that could give two shitsless, if i died tomorrow. There havnt been alot of you but there have been enough to destroy my self esteem. this is for you, i know that youll never get to see this, but maybe one day, ill be able to say this to your face. In order from first heart break, to last. Dan (not the one i went out with) - My first crush, you ignored me my entire life. and then moved away. Fuck you. Jason L - We danced once... and it was fun. We talked on msn, ya that was fun too. and then one day. you stopped. you ignored me, and then we never talked again. You, were my first highschool crush. Santi - You told me I was beautiful, we slow danced multipule times. We went out for dinner. too bad you only did this, cause your friend said "hey, if you for Carys' (my friend) friend. ill be able to get into Carys' pants" you fucking liar. And now... after two years, all of a sudden you wanna chill again? FUCK YOU! Alex B - You were a bitch. When you asked me out, you made me feel like i was the most beautiful girl to walk the earth. When i went out with you, i had self esteem, dare i say, i even had a bit of an ego. But you dumped me, and then went for my best friend. a best friend that lied to me and said that she NEVER did anything with you. Fuck you both. Alex, you were a terrible kisser. There is no way in hell i would ever go back out with you. Corey - You thought i was crazy. I probably am. good for you you stupid fuck. youre too good for me, or atleast thats what you tell people. Alex/Mac/Squishy - You were probably the worst heartbreak i ever had. Not only did you break my heart once, but you did it over and over again. and each fucking time i fell for it. each mother fucking time i thought i was the only god damn one. but you fucking played me so fucking well. You probably brouhgt me into the deepest darkest corner of depression. You lied to me, you said things to me, that made me feel like a million bucks, and then said those exact same things to my friends, and people you randomly met through out the day. you Played each and every one of my friends. (minus zara whom you seem to be "inlove with" fuck you. i hope you two go out, and i hope she fucking breaks your pathetic heart. Youre a jackass. You have played so many girls in your lifetime, and i hope each and every one of theres lives, is so much better than yours. Fuck you. Go rot in hell. And kiss my fucking ass. You brought back my self esteem. and then threw it back out. Mike E - You chose a 12 year old. Over me. You now ignore me completly. Would you notice if i died? probably not, but i wont give you that satisfaction. You, are disgusting. Any courage i had in myself. is gone. Its fucking gone. Now, if only you could be like that courage and just leave. And last but not least. Jason D - You were probably my favorite, heart break/crush whatever you wanna call it. You helped me through alot of shit, I mean, the time you wrote a song for me, that was amazing. I dont know how you broke my heart... it was probably when you all of a sudden stopped talking to me. People seem to enjoy doing them, they seem to get great pleasure out of forgetting me. But jason, unlike the rest, i dont hate you. Good luck with the band. So to the boys that broke me heart, thank you, you taught me something, you taught me, never to trust a guy with something as special as your heart. you taught me, that im not all that, and that i am infact pretty god damn far from it. So thank you. Now. This is probably my longest entry. And i know that not one single person read that entire thing. and i dont blame you, ill probably never read this again (thats a lie, im probably gonna end up reading this all the time) This will probably be my last update for a bit. So enjoy it. -Chelsea