I need to stop holding grudges and stop lying to everyone about that Its like i'm mad but i don't want people to know i hold grudges so i just pretend to be happy. as well as it works i always feel a little worse maybe if i just let it out how miserable i am i will get over it the name Lewis ignites so much anger into my systems that i think i could beat someone to a pulp just for mentioning it. He was a nice thought but when i needed a friend where was he. nowhere. a selfish jerk is what he is. i never told him but he never once asked me how my life was. one time after hanging out with him i went back to my dorm and cried because i had stooped so low in life. not only that but it reminds me of how awful things ended between me and lydell. (how can your relationship be all about sex when its a long distance relationship. really??) i would never have to lie to lydell he would have been there there my stupid grudges.