I dunno.. Ive been so confused lately.. about guys, what else.. its just. I dont want a boyfriend.. but derek was tellin me he might wanna go out with me. he MIGHT. which makes the whole thing even more confusing. and if I was gonna have a boyfriend, it would definitely be him.. but I dunno. he lives in florida. he says he might be comin back up in a couple of weeks. theres that dreaded word MIGHT again.. and hes so sweet. and hes so nice. and hes so everything.. but I just dont know. and everytime I talk to someone about it they tell me "just follow your heart. follow your heart. follow your heart" thats all I ever hear. and Im tired of that. cause if I knew where my heart was leading me, I wouldnt be in this position right now.. and even when he comes back. he'll only be back for like 3 months. then I guess him and danny boy are goin to pittsburgh to get a job with their cousin or someone and they'll only be back for the weekends:/ and that definitely doesnt work.. I dunno.. I dont even know if I like him as more than a friend. and Im tired of "follow your heart" cause my hearts gettin me nowhere..